Scott Thomas Outlar

Keeping the Calf This Time
 
 
The full 1.5 liter bottle
of Sutter Home Sauvignon Blanc
under the lamplight
on the bedside table
looks like God
or the golden calf
in all its yellow loveliness,
signifying
that tonight will be ok.
I can drink.
I can write.
I can catch that buzz
at least one more time,
and even if I die tomorrow
I’ll sure as hell
sleep soundly tonight.
But I do not fear dying tomorrow
or any other time
for I have seen the face of death
and it only made me stronger.
I do not fear sobriety
for I have fasted
on the Holy Spirit
for months at a time in the past
and became stronger from that as well.
I do not fear withdrawal
for I have been through
tougher chemical cocktails
than any bar could ever serve,
and they did not do me in,
but simply made me stronger.
So wine in my blood
will never be an enemy,
just a friend I like to visit now and again,
each time growing our love a little stronger.
 

Copyright © Scott Thomas Outlar 2015

     Scott Thomas Outlar spends the hours flowing and fluxing with the tide of the Tao River while laughing at life’s existential nature. More of his words can be read at 17numa.wordpress.com.